Death Doula

INTRODUCTION

What is a Death Doula?

A death doula is a professional who helps individuals, families, and communities prepare for the end-of-life process. They are advocates for dying people and provide support to those who are facing terminal illness or impending death. Death doulas work with individuals to create meaningful end-of-life experiences in alignment with their values, beliefs, and wishes.

HOW WE WILL SPEND OUR TIME TOGETHER

What exactly does a death doula do?

Dying can be a long process with many stages for the dying person and their loved ones. Death doulas can help with multiple parts of the end-of-life process. Their work is often broken down into three main phases:

Planning: As death approaches, death doulas can help the dying person find meaning in their life and plan for their death.

Dying: Death doulas can ensure that the person is comfortable and that their wishes are being carried out.

Grieving: Death doulas can help in the immediate time after death as family members begin to process grief. They can also help carry out logistical needs.

WHAT SERVICES DOES A DEATH DOULA PROVIDE FOR PATIENTS?

A death doula’s primary goal is to support the dying person's needs. This may include:

Talking with the person about dying and helping them identify their wishes

Helping the dying person plan for what they want after their death, such as what they want to be done with their remains or what type of memorial service they want

Explaining how dying may feel and what symptoms they may experience

Helping the dying person find meaning in their life and leave a legacy, such as by sharing memories, writing down stories, or writing letters

Designing the physical space for death, including decorations, sounds, and smells

Encouraging loved ones to provide touch and affection to the dying person

Providing spiritual support or leading rituals

What services does a death doula provide for family members?

Sometimes, the best thing for the dying person may be to help family members. A death doula can provide a lot of support for loved ones. 

This may include:

Organizing the physical space for the dying person

Providing logistical support

Give insight into what can be prepared before visiting the funeral home if that is the choice.

Taking over caregiver duties to let other caregivers rest

Helping plan for remains or memorial services

Helping loved ones understand the signs of death and what symptoms the person may be experiencing

Supporting loved ones in providing love and affection to the dying person

Helping wash and dress the deceased

Providing spiritual support

Helping loved ones process grief and loss

Helping loved ones identify how to continue the legacy of the dying person

How is a death doula different from hospice or palliative care?

Death doulas differ from hospice or palliative care because they do not provide medical care or participate in physician-assisted death. Hospice or palliative care will provide medical services, including medical evaluations and medications for comfort and pain. 

Death doulas spend much time with the dying person and their loved ones. They provide hands-on logistical, emotional, and spiritual support. 

Is a death doula part of hospice care?

Death doulas provide different services from hospice, but some hospices may have death doulas on their teams. You may find a death doula through a hospice program or one independent from hospice.

WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER DEATH DOULAS?

I am a licensed massage therapist in the state of Colorado. 

My services include my offering of lymphatic drainage technique, which I became certified for through Chikly Institute. I am one of the few in the state to practice this beneficial technique.

I have also studied eco-therapy for years and can go into nature with the dying or bring nature to you. 

One of my accreditations is being a licensed advocate for sexual assault and domestic violence. I have spent much time in the emergency room with women after these events advocating between the nurse, hospital, police, and family to soothe their emotional needs and advocate for the kind of care they need and want. 

My services are not based on a particular religion or beliefs, I welcome all preferences of spirituality.

I am available to care for any age group. 

SCHEDULING

We can schedule ahead for the days or weeks, and we can discuss the potential for me to be there at the time of passing, and the dying can always change their mind if they want only family or others there at that time. What you want for that moment is your decision and yours alone.

COMPENSATION

$65 for one-hour visits

POST DEPARTURE CARE

I will be available to the family after the death and as long as they need me for coordinating, caring for, and assisting with the family's needs. 

I can also be of service to anyone needing care after someone has died or in sudden death. I have had both parents pass suddenly, my father by suicide and my mother by drowning. 

I may not be a midwife, but I am here for this time in your life all the same. It would be my honor to serve you during this time.

"Invisible wounds are the hardest to heal, for their closure depends upon the love of others, patience and understanding, and the tender gift of time.” From; Call The Midwife.